depression – Hope in the Sorrow

Trust Issues

For me trust doesn’t come easily. With my past trauma and everything I’ve been through, that’s something that takes a long time for me to give to someone. I’ve had many issues with trust and I’m not saying that I’m good at keeping others’ trust but I guess that’s how I also push people away.Continue reading “Trust Issues”

Without Consent

This is something most people don’t know except for my parents. When I was younger and I was with THEM they had family come over. They were relatives and they had a son when he was a teen. I remember everyone was getting ready to sleep and me and my sister were sleeping on theContinue reading “Without Consent”

Push them away

The reason I push everyone away I’ll never really know. Maybe I do it to protect myself or them from getting hurt. If I get too close to someone I start pushing them away. I use to do that with my family and honestly sometimes I feel like I still do. I feel like aContinue reading “Push them away”

Lost

Ever feel like hopeless, empty, worthless. If so I know what that’s like. I feel hopeless because it feels like I’m never gonna get over if you think differently and that I’m wrong I’m not stopping you please tell me. I feel empty because I mentally feel alone and broken. I feel worthless because IContinue reading “Lost”

In Denial

Last year was an interesting year. I guess it was the year where I was in denial about my depression and anxiety. I started acting out and doing things I shouldn’t be or hanging with the wrong group of people. I knew that wasn’t me. But to be honest I didn’t really know who IContinue reading “In Denial”

Thank you mom

This is to my mom, the one and only, who’s been by my side since the very beginning and will be with me till the end. I know that this is the hardest thing she’s gone through. Especially hearing that I want to take my life, telling her that I’d rather be dead then here.Continue reading “Thank you mom”

The ACT

The act that I put on everyday is something I wish I didn’t do. But I’ve gotten so used to faking how I feel in front of others that it’s kind of just a natural thing now and it’s hard. Look at the people I care about and tell them I’m fine. When I knowContinue reading “The ACT”

Be normal

Ever wonder what it would be like if you were normal. I wonder what it would be like to just be a normal teenager. To have normal teenage problems. Where all I have to worry about or be upset about are my grades or the guy that breaks up with me. Not trauma, depression, anxiety,Continue reading “Be normal”

My thoughts take over my mind

I don’t know how to put this except for, I feel like I’m dying day by day, and all I can do is feel myself slip away. I just want to be put out of my misery. All this is doing is torturing me, just let me go. All that goes through my mind isContinue reading “My thoughts take over my mind”

My Story, Part 2

I remember every night. I would sit in bed against the wall, holding my knees with a blanket over me. Hoping that he wouldn’t come but I knew he would. I was too afraid to lay down and fall asleep because I knew he was about to do it. When he would come in, heContinue reading “My Story, Part 2”