depression – Hope in the Sorrow

Broken Glass

Used for his satisfaction Thrown away when I’ve accomplished his desires I’m a glass thrown in a recycling bin Came back out to satisfy his thirst for pleasure. The word pleasure doesn’t even get to me I’m so used to it I’m like a glass that can shattered in a matter of time He hidesContinue reading “Broken Glass”

Death before my eyes

My memories come and go as they please, but they don’t leave me empty handed they leave me paralyzed. But hey it’s ok right just another day. It’s not like I can do anything about it or know what to say so the best thing to do is pretend like it’s never happened. The scariestContinue reading “Death before my eyes”

Trust Issues

For me trust doesn’t come easily. With my past trauma and everything I’ve been through, that’s something that takes a long time for me to give to someone. I’ve had many issues with trust and I’m not saying that I’m good at keeping others’ trust but I guess that’s how I also push people away.Continue reading “Trust Issues”

Without Consent

This is something most people don’t know except for my parents. When I was younger and I was with THEM they had family come over. They were relatives and they had a son when he was a teen. I remember everyone was getting ready to sleep and me and my sister were sleeping on theContinue reading “Without Consent”

Push them away

The reason I push everyone away I’ll never really know. Maybe I do it to protect myself or them from getting hurt. If I get too close to someone I start pushing them away. I use to do that with my family and honestly sometimes I feel like I still do. I feel like aContinue reading “Push them away”

Lost

Ever feel like hopeless, empty, worthless. If so I know what that’s like. I feel hopeless because it feels like I’m never gonna get over if you think differently and that I’m wrong I’m not stopping you please tell me. I feel empty because I mentally feel alone and broken. I feel worthless because IContinue reading “Lost”

Ever Zone out

Ever have moments where you just zone out of nowhere and you have no idea why. I do and it happens quite often. I’ll just zone and everything goes black. There are times I don’t even know that I’m doing it. Or someone tries to get my attention and I don’t know and can’t snapContinue reading “Ever Zone out”

In Denial

Last year was an interesting year. I guess it was the year where I was in denial about my depression and anxiety. I started acting out and doing things I shouldn’t be or hanging with the wrong group of people. I knew that wasn’t me. But to be honest I didn’t really know who IContinue reading “In Denial”

Thank you mom

This is to my mom, the one and only, who’s been by my side since the very beginning and will be with me till the end. I know that this is the hardest thing she’s gone through. Especially hearing that I want to take my life, telling her that I’d rather be dead then here.Continue reading “Thank you mom”

The ACT

The act that I put on everyday is something I wish I didn’t do. But I’ve gotten so used to faking how I feel in front of others that it’s kind of just a natural thing now and it’s hard. Look at the people I care about and tell them I’m fine. When I knowContinue reading “The ACT”