Trust Issues

For me trust doesn’t come easily. With my past trauma and everything I’ve been through, that’s something that takes a long time for me to give to someone. I’ve had many issues with trust and I’m not saying that I’m good at keeping others’ trust but I guess that’s how I also push people away. But after everything that THEY’VE done to me. I could never trust anyone that easily again and I know that trust isn’t easy for anyone but I guess for me it was on a different level. I tried asking for help and no one believed me so I just kept everything to myself. Look how that turned out not so good. I’m not complaining about the life I live now, it’s just everything that’s happening within me that I hate. It’s ok though life’s supposed to be hard but it’s not supposed to push you off the edge. But I’m working on myself with my parents’ help and a lot of other people. But I don’t know for me just trusting people is very hard especially when I try making friends and they just don’t turn out to be who you’d thought. They act one way with you and a different with some else. That’s why I’ve honestly given up on making friends. I don’t trust anyone one. But it’s ok that’s just something I have to work through. To be honest when I first meet someone and try to be friends I’m very distant but I make it to where they don’t know that. I go along with what they say and see how they respond and act with me to see if I can trust them. I know it sounds wrong but especially now I do it more frequently with everything I’ve gone through lately. I don’t really trust that many people. I’ve distanced myself from a lot of people. But it’s safe to say that my childhood traumas have broke me.

This is also my last post. I’ll post more in a week.