The S word.

The thing I’m about to say is the thing that crosses every person’s mind. That suffers from mental health disorders. It’s called SUICIDE. That’s a word I’ll never forget. It almost took my life from me, it brought me shame and disappointment, but what I don’t seem to get is why I don’t seem to regret it. I almost brought pain to the ones that care the deepest, but yet that didn’t seem to stop me wanting to take my life, my pain, my suffering away. Now everyday I look at my wrist and see the scars and all I can think is what stopped me and what would it be like if I went through with it. Suicide takes everything away from you steal’s your life your loved ones and yourself. It might take the pain away but it also destroys so much. on Monday April 4 at 3:25pm. I remember that day very well. To be honest I don’t even know what I was trying to do. I don’t know if I was trying to end things or to just feel something else then what I was feeling. All I know is that if it wasn’t for my mom I wouldn’t be here right now sharing this with y’all. I called her and told her I needed help. That day I let everything I’d been holding in out. I destroyed my room, threw things everywhere and hurt myself, while my brother was home. I broke down and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. After that day I told my mom I wouldn’t hurt myself anymore and that I would try. It’s hard to try though when you don’t want to anymore. But I keep going wanting to at least get that feeling of wanting to get better again. My advice to all of you out there no matter the age is to please stop acting before you think then act. Find another way to make yourself satisfied with what you’re feeling because hurting yourself, doing drugs, fighting, acting in any way that includes self harm or violence towards others, and addictions just makes us as bad as the people that hurt us. I’m still trying to work on believing that myself.